TOP 10 INGREDIENTS OF OUR SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

June 30, 2009

1.)    TRUST:  We totally trust each other with everything in our relationship.  There are no secrets we have hidden from one another.
2.)    COMMUNICATION:  My wife and I communicated with each other all of the time as we were dating.  The mystery of who we were had to be discovered by each of us…we’re still discovering and still communicating.
3.)    FINANCIAL UNITY:  We have never had separate bank accounts.  Every penny earned, was “ours” and all of the goals and dreams for the finances were ours.  It was never mine or yours, but always ours.
4.)    INTIMACY:  Having the purity of an old fashioned relationship, where neither one had ever been with another person.  Having no one to compare the other person with, has allowed us total security in our love for each other.
5.)    PURITY:  Maintaining the purity of our relationship with each other.  There is never a second chance at having and maintaining a pure marriage, and guarding it  at all cost.
6.)    ACCOUNTABILITY:  Making ourselves accountable for two crucial areas of  our marriage…Time and Money.
7.)    PRAYING TOGETHER: Praying together regardless, has been a source of  strength and encouragement for us both.  It is really hard to pray together and end the day still angry with each other.
8.)    STAY-BILITY:  This is more than what most think as stability…we are staying together period.  Divorce is never an option, and never mentioned from our lips.
9.)    TENDERNESS:  We value and respect each other, and constantly lift each other up in our speech.  She is my bride and I am her groom!  We treat each other with tenderness and respect just as we did in the beginning.
10.)  GIVING TO EACH OTHER:  We decided to give our lives to each other when  we got married.  Finding creative ways to continue giving and sharing our lives is a hallmark of 31 years of giving to each other.

 

Posted by Boe | Filed Under Employees | 2 Comments 

Are You Paying Attention? (Jon Cook)

June 5, 2009

“Attentiveness is showing the worth of a person or task by giving your undivided concentration.” (www.characterfirst.com)

 When was the last time you sat down, looked your friend, spouse, or child in the eye and really paid attention to what they had to say?  If you are like most people that doesn’t sound too difficult…until you try to do it.  Most of us believe we are too busy to give that sort of attention on a regular basis.  We want to talk “on the move,” while we are doing other things.  We call it multi-tasking and we excuse our failure to really be attentive by saying, as well as believing, that we are so busy that a constructive use of our time is not really focusing on any one thing or person.  We convince ourselves that we are better time managers when we are communicating on the move, at a shallow depth, and without any kind of real commitment. I think all that is a cop-out.  Being truly attentive is something most of us just don’t want to do.  We think it requires too much and may end up costing us more than we want to give.  By not paying attention we can keep our distance and move along without any real commitment.  Being attentive scares us to death!  Yet, it is exactly what our relationships need!  “Attentiveness is showing the worth (value) of a person or task by giving your undivided concentration (attention).” Who can you give your undivided attention today, and by doing so, show them how important they are to you and how much you value your relationship with them?

Posted by Jon | Filed Under Employees | 1 Comment 

Do It Now! (Jon Cook)

June 5, 2009

“Why do something today when you can put it off until tomorrow?”  Sound familiar?  Are you a procrastinator?  Procrastination is the avoidance of doing a task which needs to be accomplished.  Procrastination can lead to feelings of guilt, inadequacy, depression, and self-doubt.  It carries a high potential for painful consequences.

 

Why do you procrastinate?  What causes any of us to put off things that need to be done?  First, thinking that you absolutely have to do something is a major reason for procrastination.  Feeling like you have to do something can automatically make you defensive and resentful.  You need to realize that you never have to do something.  Of course, the consequences might be pretty severe, but the decision to do something is ultimately yours.

 

Second, thinking of a task as something huge that you have to get completed can ensure that you put it off.  Rather than focusing on finishing a task, change your focus to doing it, step by step, until it is completed.  If you say to yourself, “I’ve got to do my taxes today,” or “I must complete this report,” you are very likely to feel overwhelmed and end up putting off the task.  Start one small piece of the task instead of thinking that you must finish the whole thing.  Focus on what you know you can get done right now.  If you do this enough, you will eventually complete the whole task!

 

Other ways to battle the challenge of procrastination include:

  • Recognize personal issues such as fear, anxiety, difficulty concentrating, poor time management, indecisiveness, and perfectionism
  • Identify your goals, strengths and weaknesses, values and priorities
  • Determine if your values are consistent with your actions
  • Discipline your use of time.  Find ways to organize
  • If you can, work in small blocks of time, gradually increasing the length of each time block
  • Motivate yourself to work.  Dwell on success, not failure.
  • Work with others.  Be accountable for each task
  • Set realistic goals

Finally, do not take pride in your procrastination by joking about it all the time.  It is a significant problem that needs to be dealt with in a positive way.  Ask for help if you need it!

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